nos·tal·gi·a (no-stal'j?, n?-) n.

Definition: A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.The condition of being homesick; homesickness.

Funny. That has such a negative tone to it... When I am stuck in a moment and swept away by "nostalgia," it usually feels good. All warm and fuzzy. Dream like. I usually want it to last...
I have been feeling nostalgic ever since Camstock 07 (3 weeks ago), and it has been awesome!
I haven't felt sick at all...

If anything, blown away at how fast time goes...and yet how the 10th grade seems like only yesterday. I am amazed at how grown up we all are, and impressed by the adults we have become, the careers we've established, the families we have created. It is so cool to see the friends that remain BFF (best friends forever) and the "new" people whom you suddenly have soooo much in common with...

Strangely though, and at the same time, it's as if no one has changed at all. That time has somehow stopped. Or that we have managed to warp time backwards, and that we're all still the same group of hooligans we once were... When we would scream "Argos...Blue Jays" at the top of our lungs, from one field party to another. Was that only a few months ago? I would do it again tonight...if anyone is in? I can even still see what hung in my locker, can remember reading Shakespeare out loud in English class. Can still smell the nasty air in the workout room. I still have old boxes full of pictures and notes and souvenirs from the old days that I just can't bear to throw away...

I am not sure at which point the nostalgia goes away. Or when/how it is mysteriously replaced with a sense of pride. We have all evolved so amazingly well and I am so proud of us, our extended group of friends, old classmates and spouses. Once again, proud of our "generation", if you will.

We are a rare and special breed, and it is so wonderful to be able to share the old memories while creating new ones together again. I guess it's true what "they" say... there is no place like home. Who woulda thunk it?

See you at Camstock '08! ;)

Peace and love and warm fuzzy hugs.
JF

PS: CAM - if you're out there, let me know if you want help planning...and no pressure ;) LOL

So I just quit my job.

Again.
But I am excited - don't get me wrong... really excited about my new opportunity. I have surpassed the 9 month curse, (check one) although it's only been 2 years exactly on Aug, 29th...and only technically a year and a bit in the current role... but when opportunity knocks, you must answer... And even if it was you who was searching for that knock, it still counts.
You can either sit and wait for things to happy and hope you might get lucky.
Or you can seek things out and make them happen.
...Not to mention that when I had a hand in getting my sister back on her feet, with Metroland (check two) that somehow I knew that my time had come. I knew that I had accomplished whatever it was that was keeping me here, since in all honesty my restraints were starting to feel really tight... I needed to spread my wings again and be encouraged to do so... This is what I am achieving with this swticheroo. Freeing up some wing space. Going to work for a company whom actually values my skills, and what I have to offer, and wants to see me grow. Not the other way around, and I will not be pushed to regress.

It feels like somehow this new move has lifted me onto a new platform. That I am now officially a career woman. In a new tax bracket, in a new level of my career. And I can't wait to see what happens...

My Career. Woman.
Wow.
So strange to hear that coming from me... I am still only a kid afterall.
But isn't it funny...(or is it just me...) that it doesn't matter how exciting a new opportunity is or how bad an old job was, that the second it comes to an end, time to walk away and leave your desk behind, suddenly all the bad things don't seem that bad, and the good things seem like they still have so much potential...??

Or is that just me. Me and my sentimental, emotional nature? Being blinded by the good?
All of a sudden the people whom I have never even had lunch with (other than at staff BBQs or someones retirement party) appear to be all really great friends, and people that I will sincerely miss.

And the projects that were never going to be completed, (surely not by the deadline,) are suddenly swarming with activity and the only thing that will be missing will be me! Me, present to reap the benefits of my endless hard work, struggle, stresses and efforts.

Or is it just me, and I am over thinking things as usual?

Must be that I am over thinking things...if you, my loyal blog, had been around for the many moons prior to today, I am sure you would have had your fix and then some, of my daily work frustrations and stresses... My journal and my husband are both up to capacity with the complaint ritual. So at least it is comforting to have the three-strikes-you're-out-theory in my pocket. And I know that there have been more than three strikes. I have given it a full shot. Made the best of it. And am now ready to keep on trekking down the road to my dreams...

So to answer my own question then, and clearly for the record, when it is time to move on, it quite simply just is. When the spark dies, it's usually time to get re-inspired. When something just sucks or is not working well, fix it! This is what I have done. And I will not let my self feel guilty for giving in my resignation!! Gosh darn it! They had me. They lost me. (side note to self: time to realize that even the best are replaceable and "they", the bosses, will never put my interests first. It is up to me to do that.)

And now I am finding my way back... to the top...oh yes... I will be at the top... oh yes, with all my dreams a reality...I can see it now... oh yes... **sorry, getting lost in Wayne's World-like dream sequence...

Today's Bonus:
Speaking of dreams coming true though, another 3+ just happened since creating our (Fred's and my own) vision boards! Another reference to "The Secret", and again better to save it to get into another time...since I have SOOOOO much to talk about on this...

So I bid a adieu to a really great long weekend - one of the best ever!
And to a fabulous new kitchen. An exciting new job with new colleagues, adventures and potential.
Cheers to the good times Metroland, and the bad. There were a lot of both.
Cheers to all the people I have connected with along the way - thank you for the experiences and the memories. And thank you to the best husband in the world, ti amo Fred.

07Aug07 has turned out to be a pretty lucky day so far...how about you?
Peace and love and gratitude.
JF


PS: To Muse, we were celebrating in your music and post-concert high all weekend. What an awesome, awesome concert! Me + Fred = True Fans :)